JT
12.04.2002, 20:57
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of negotiations, Her Majesty Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c"
will
be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would
go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"
by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd
from vords kontaining"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
[ 12-04-2002, 20:57: Сообщение отредактировано: JT ]
been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of negotiations, Her Majesty Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c"
will
be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would
go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"
by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd
from vords kontaining"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
[ 12-04-2002, 20:57: Сообщение отредактировано: JT ]