Гран При Великобритании (англ)

Pit-to-car radio:


Warm up lap:

Rubens: (to self) OK Rubinho. You've shown that you can do it. You're
quicker than Michael. You beat him in Austria. You beat him at the
'Ring. You out-qualified him here in England. You are a supreme speed
machine. No-one can beat you. No-one. You are a racer and you will win
this race.
Ross Brawn: Oi Rubens.
Rubens: Yes boss?
Ross: 30 seconds to warm-up lap. Can you just check the system status
for us please?
Rubens: Sure thing boss. How do I do that?
Ross: Just press the little red button on your left there.
Rubens: This one here on my steering wheel?
Ross: Aha.
Rubens: The one that says &quot:Deactivate"?
Ross: Yup. That's the one.
Rubens: What does that mean? Deactivate?
Ross: Highly technical term. It just sends the telemetry from your
in-car computer to my lap-top.
Rubens: Oh OK.
Ross: Have you pressed it?
Rubens: Hang on....yep...shit..the car's stalled.
Ross: (feigned innocence) Oh...did it?

Race:
Lap 2
DC (David Coulthard): HEY! I JUST PASSED RUBENS!
MP (McLaren Pit): You passed a sandwich? GROSS!
PW (Pit Wall): Cross the line? No kidding! I'll put the sign out.
URS (Unknown Radio Signal): Der Fisch ist in der Badewanne! DER BADEWANNE!
DC: WHAT?
MP: WHAT?
PW: WHAT?


Lap 15
DC: It's starting to rain
URS: Der Regen in Spanien ist hauptsдchlich auf der Ebene
MP: It's starting to rain
PW: WHAT?
DC: Should I come in?
MP: WHAT? I'll ask Simone...
PW: Bridgestone? I thought we were on.....
DC: I am *not* stoned!

Lap 16
DC: Should I pit?
MP: I thought you did that on lap 2?
URS: La dйpendance a besoin changer
DC: YES! CHANGE THE FREAKING TIRE!
URS: OUI! OUI!
MP: No, he did that on lap 2 as well, we believe....

Lap 17
MP: BOX BOX BOX!
DC: That's FINE!! IT'S MY TIRES THAT SUCK!
MP: Let me ask Simone again...
PW: I'm *NOT* putting that on the sign!
DC: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
MP: She says she loves you like a God TOO! NOW PAY ATTENTION!
MP: <aside> ...we never had to put up with this crap from Mika...

Lap 18
&lt:DC Comes into the pits unannounced>
MP: WHAT THE HELL!! WHO'S *THAT*?
DC: IT'S ME YOU MORONS! CAN I GET A BIT OF HELP HERE, OR DO I NEED TO GET
OUT AND CHANGE THE TIRES MYSELF?!?
PW: Should I put a sign out saying DC is in the pits?
URS: STRUDLE! NINE STRUDLE!!
MP: WELL! GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND GO CHANGE HIS BLOODY TIRES I GUESS!
DC: I SAID 'TIRES', NOT 'DRYS' JEEZ!!!

Lap 19
DC: Well that was a fiasco...Should I come in next lap, and perhaps we
could just try it again?
MP: Nah...wait a couple more laps. The lads are still zipping up their
suits from the last stop.
KR (Kimi Raikonnennn): Any news on the steam room in the compound?
MP: PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
URS: Gehen Sie schneller! SCHNELL!
DC: Who said that?
MP: What?
DC: WHO! NOT WHAT!
PW: Who's on first? (giggle)

Lap 21
DC: I'm coming in again, and I'd like the same tires that Michael is on
PW: I'll put the 'Bridgestone' sign out...
MP: DAMMIT! PIERRE MIGHT BE LISTENING!
URS: OUI! C'est Pierre!
DC: What does HE want now? Ask him if he can find me A FREAKING RAIN TIRE
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
URS: Je m'appelle Pierre! Do you like gladiator movies?
DC: KEEP THAT FREAK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!

Lap 22
DC: AGAIN!?!??
KR: I'm tired! Are we almost there?
MP: <aside> ... call Erja... I've had enough...
PW: SIGN OUT! 'ERJA'
MP: ...why me...?

Lap 29
DC: HOLY CRAP!! WHAT WAS THAT!
MP: That was Michael...
DC: JESUS!! I just saw this red BLUR!!! DAMN!
KR: I *hate* spam. That's almost as bad as when the girl in the chatroom
turns out to be a six foot four Marine named 'Phil'
URS: <liltingly> spam spam spam spam.... (great movie!)
MP: WHO IS THAT? GET OFF MY CHANNEL!
URS: I fart in your general direction...
DC: WHOOPS!
MP: Again?

Lap 30
DC: Guys? Tell me I'm not in last place...
<radio silence>


DC: Guys? Hello? Guys?
<crickets>


DC: WHOOPS!


Lap 38
DC: GREAT NEWS GUYS! I just passed De La Rosa!!
<radio silence>
DC: Guys? GUYS!??
URS: Vous sucez
URS: Wirklich <giggle>
MP: <unintelligible>

Lap 44
KR: What was that noise?
MP: What was that noise?
DC: Wasn't me. I swear!
NH (Norbert Haug): Again?


Lap 49
DC: Guys, I'm back here really fighting with De La Rosa. Reminds me of
some of my immortal battles with Bernoldi
PW: I can't find the 'laughing face' icon for the sign. DAMMIT! Timing is
EVERYTHING!
MP: How much longer do we have?
KR: How come when *I* ask that, I get yelled at. IT'S NO FAIR!

Lap 57
MP: Thank GOD it's almost over
DC: Come over?
S (Simone DC Girlfriend): WATCH THE HAIR!
URS: Oooo la-la!
PW: What?
MP: Please, let me get hit by a Renault...
DC: WHO? WHO HIT WHO?
PW: Whom!
DC: What *EVER*!


Lap 60
MP: OK....Let's get the HELL out of here before Bernie shows up!
PW: NOT FAIR! Kimi's already in the massage room. He'll be in there for
HOURS!
DC: So?
PW: SO WHAT? Want to make something of it?
MP: <sobbing heard>
DC: How close to the points?
MP/PW/S/NH/URS/KR: <hysterical laughter>

гыгы..да уж ..
над бедым Дэвидом то измываются :)

самое прикольное было URS :) гыгы... сразу про Вилко вспоминается  :D

Ну в р-вилке нет всяких паразитных радио-эффектов и передаюших на тойже частоте незнакомцев :)

Разве что когда с открытым каналам летают в WB/Ил2 - бардак стоит не шуточный (включая незнакомцев и частые `кто это сказал?` :)

Ну не умеет народ лаконично говорить.. и даже не старается над этим подумать ;^/

Если честно, все эти немецко-франсузские / Симона-вские темы с URS не очень понятны..

Вот про Рубинио хорошо зарубили =) Художественно так, с само-настроя в качестве пролога :)

5 баллов!