haulingiron.com

В разделе юмор на этом симерском сайте нашел немного авиа-приколов
DON'T FORGET THE RULES OF COMBAT
1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire.
2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at.
4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.
5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.
6. Remember: your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder.
7. Never draw fire, it will irritate the rest of your formation.
8. Never share a cockpit with someone braver than you.
9. You are not Tom Cruise.
10. SAMs and AAA have the right-of-way.
11. If you aren't sure, the SAMs are pointed at you.
12. If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea.
13. Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.
14. Smart bombs have bad days too.
15. The best defense is to stay out of range.
16. If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.
Вариант перевода (поправьте если неточно)
БОЕЦ! НЕ ЗАБУДЬ ПРАВИЛА БОЯ!
1.Точнее вражеского огня есть только одна вещь - дружеский огонь.
2.прикинься ветошью, вдруг у них мало патронов (пожалеют боеприпасы)
3.Держи строй. Это даст врагам больше целей.
4.Не готов к проверкам сверху пока пороху не понюхал
5.Не готов к боевым действиям пока не прошел проверку
6.Помни. Твой самолет был сделан максимально дешевым.(из максимально дешевой фигни)
7.Никогда не "поливай" огнем. Это может проредить остальных в твоей группе.
8.Никогда не допускайте в кабину кого-либо храбрее себя. (не летай с храбрецами)
9.Ты не Том Круз. :-)
10.ЗРК и ЗА необходимо уступать дорогу.
11. Если ты не уверен, ЗРК тобой займется.
12.Если тебя сбили, катапультироваться над парнями которых ты только что бомбил, не самая лучшая идея.
13.:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:?
14.У "умных" бомб тоже бывают плохие дни.
15.Лучшая защита, находиться вне зоны поражения.
16.Если у тебя не хватает всего кроме врагов - ты в бою

тут я не все смог перевести, но есть шедевры




Actual lines from U.S military Officer Efficiency Reports:
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Got into the gene pool while the life guard wasn't watching
A room temperature IQ :-))))
Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
A prime candidate for natural de-selection
Bright as Alaska in December
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
So dense, light bends around him (I love this one)
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
Wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

Extracts from Royal Navy and Marines Officer fitness reports:
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity
I would not breed from this officer
He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction
He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle
This young lady has delusions of adequacy
This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
Since my last report he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to meet them
He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"

А здесь я просто пал как озимые

From a Radio conversation released by the American Navy:
1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North.
2: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again divert YOUR course.
2: No, I say again, you divert your course.
1: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE. WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW.
2: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Спасибо за приколы, правила для настоящего героя :) .
По первому постингу перевод неточен, поробую свой:
eng
4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.
rus
4. Ни одно подразделение, готовое к проверке, не в состоянии вести боевые действия.
eng
5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.
rus
5. Ни одно боеспособное подразделение не в состоянии пройти проверку.
eng
7. Never draw fire, it will irritate the rest of your formation.
rus
7. Никогда не вызывай огонь на себя - это рассердит твоих соседей по строю.