Я плакал, читая это, хоть и не дока в английском!

:D
"Konversation" between Condoleeza Rice (National Security Advisor to the
President) and George W.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.


Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

борода. переделкя старой амерской шутки 60-х годов, была популярно рассказана в фильме Rainman, с Хоффманом и Крузом.

Да, помню, :-). Хороший фильм, только в русском переводе на это не так обращаешь внимание.

Моя долго-долго плякать:)

Авас...а доцент тупой (с)...

пфффф...
мы такие анекдоты ещё в начальной школе травили...

How would Russian chastushki sound in English?
>
> Рыбка плавает в томате,
> Ей в томате хорошо,
> Только я, едрена матерь,
> Места в жизни не нашел.
>
> Fish in thick tomato sauce
> Swims in happy comatose
> Only me, pathetic wimp
> Have no fucking place to swim.
>
>
> По реке плывет топор
> из села Чугуева,
> Hу и пусть себе плывет
> железяка х*ева...
>
> Down the river drifts an axe
> From the town of Byron.
> Let it float by itself-
> Fucking piece of iron!!!
>
>
> Меня девки с собой звали, а я с ними не пошел -
> Пиджачишко на мне рваный и х*ишко небольшой.
>
> Girls have called me to the party - I decided not to come,
> It's because my clothes are ugly and my dick is a tiny one.
>
>
> Я лежала с Коленькой совершенно голенькой,
> Потому что для красы я сняла с себя трусы.
>
> I was sleeping with my honey absolutely naked,
> I have taken my panties off just to make a statement.
>
>
> С неба звездочка упала
> Прямо милому в штаны,
> Пусть горит там, что попало,
> Лишь бы не было войны.
>
> Starlet's fallen from the heavens
> Right into my boyfriend's briefs,
> I don't mind his roasted penis
> If it helps us live in peace.