Я плакал, читая это, хоть и не дока в английском!

[Stork]

"Konversation" between Condoleeza Rice (National Security Advisor to the
President) and George W.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.


Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

[Dmut]

борода. переделкя старой амерской шутки 60-х годов, была популярно рассказана в фильме Rainman, с Хоффманом и Крузом.

[Stork]

Да, помню, :-). Хороший фильм, только в русском переводе на это не так обращаешь внимание.

[patriot[ru]]

Моя долго-долго плякать

[VGV]

Авас...а доцент тупой (с)...

[с-сhopper]

пфффф...
мы такие анекдоты ещё в начальной школе травили...

[HT]

How would Russian chastushki sound in English?
>
> Рыбка плавает в томате,
> Ей в томате хорошо,
> Только я, едрена матерь,
> Места в жизни не нашел.
>
> Fish in thick tomato sauce
> Swims in happy comatose
> Only me, pathetic wimp
> Have no fucking place to swim.
>
>
> По реке плывет топор
> из села Чугуева,
> Hу и пусть себе плывет
> железяка х*ева...
>
> Down the river drifts an axe
> From the town of Byron.
> Let it float by itself-
> Fucking piece of iron!!!
>
>
> Меня девки с собой звали, а я с ними не пошел -
> Пиджачишко на мне рваный и х*ишко небольшой.
>
> Girls have called me to the party - I decided not to come,
> It's because my clothes are ugly and my dick is a tiny one.
>
>
> Я лежала с Коленькой совершенно голенькой,
> Потому что для красы я сняла с себя трусы.
>
> I was sleeping with my honey absolutely naked,
> I have taken my panties off just to make a statement.
>
>
> С неба звездочка упала
> Прямо милому в штаны,
> Пусть горит там, что попало,
> Лишь бы не было войны.
>
> Starlet's fallen from the heavens
> Right into my boyfriend's briefs,
> I don't mind his roasted penis
> If it helps us live in peace.