переговоры

[hex]

Cessna: Башня, это N-1234, прошу истинную скорость.
Башня: N-1234, понял, ваша скорость 110 узлов.
Mooney: (Выходя на взлетный режим) Башня, это N-5678, прошу НАШУ истинную скорость.
Башня: N-5678, понял, ваша скорость 201 узел.
F-18: (Говорит с техасским акцентом). Хе-хе... Башня, как насчет ХХХХ, что у нас с истинной скоростью?
Башня: XXXX, понял, ваша скорость 580 узлов.
Далекий голос, сквозь помехи: Башня, мы бы тоже хотели узнать нашу скорость, пожалуйста!
Башня: Э-э-э... У нас, похоже, какие-то проблемы с оборудованием, оно показывает вашу скорость 1500 узлов.
Далекий голос: Все в порядке, это SR-71. Спасибо за внимание.

стырено у биглера

[Andreich]

И? Над чем смеяться, разъясните тупому

[Cyber Hunter]

Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird

[Vitus]

И? Над чем смеяться, разъясните тупому

Типа чванливые америкосы меряются...кхм...у кого больше. А тут пришел "Блэкберд" и натяул всем козью морду...

[Andreich]

[Necroscope]

Умесней-б было 2500! И веселей!! %_)

[HT]

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got that Fokker in sight."

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot.
They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing:
Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."
Ground: "Guten morgen! You vill taxi to your gate!" The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi way and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know vare you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with some arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?!?"
Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another type of Boeing. I didn't stop."

I was a Pan Am 727 Flight Engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich, Germany. I was listening to the radio since I was the junior crew member. This was the conversation I overheard: (I don't recall call signs any longer)
Lufthansa: (In German) "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground: (In English) "If you want an answer you must speak English."
Lufthansa: (In English) "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Beautiful English Accent: (before ground could answer) "Because you lost the bloody war!