Hey guys, I'm building a campaign right now, but need some help with speechpacks....

Thanks! Okay guys. I've compiled a list of what I'm going to change in the sample briefing. Tell me if it will work or not, and whether you think you'd like this new version better:

What I'll be changing:
-Get rid of the smell comment, they'd be used to it by now.

-They are in the briefing tent to be briefed for their night's mission. I must make that clear.

-As with most of the "airfields" that the Po-2's of the night witches took off from, they were farmsteads, and large pieces of flat land more often than airfields. (Their training did take place at Engels airfield, though) Therefore, the setting is a farm on a road, which will be used for takeoff like a normal runway. I will set up objects, and it will look good. I promise. The farm, thanks to being on the front lines, will be in disrepair.

-Changing "haven't bathed in many days and nights" to "haven't bathed in several days."

-The girls, instead of crying, save for Irina, will be talking and gossiping about the previous night's mission, a few remain silent, but others chatter wildly. Irina is the only one crying. However, the main character will have been closer to Dusya, thus making it a more emotional mission, a reason to cry.

-Uniforms: By this point many of the women were still wearing male uniforms, but I believe now some may have altered theirs. So the crowd of clothing will be mixed, some will have bad stitch jobs, others will look perfect. Some girls will be wearing hats they made out of the extra fabric, others will have made scarves. Etc... Randomness of the uniforms will add to the atmosphere.

-Still living on the farm will be an elderly couple and their grandchild. The couple's sons and other grandchildren either died in Leningrad or fighting at the front. The squadron gives them company, and the couple cooks meals for them in addition to helping provide shelter. They are also a source of conversation in rough times. The grandchild is a boy no older than 11 years. They live in poor conditions, and every time the women take a look at the decrepid state of their living, it gives them renewed strength, another reason to fight.

-More detail about weather conditions and the target in the briefing. Talk about hearing the clicking and clunking of the mechanics doing their job outside the tent.
______________

Those are the notes I came up with. If there's anything else I should change, let me know. I should have the edited story up by the end of the day, but as I'm getting sick, (I think I'm getting a cold) It may be another day or two before I can get it up.
So, tell me what you think?

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от PBNA-Boosher

-They are in the briefing tent to be briefed for their night's mission. I must make that clear.

---

No, it's clear enough! As for my question: "I'm reading and seeing crying girls. And I really can't understand what are they doing in the briefing tent?" it was only related to crying girls. To much emotions before combat mission- they should find a better place for crying than briefing tent. If you'll reduce amount of tears (what you're going to do), it will be quite clear, what solders do in the briefing tent. :)

As for other items- all seem to be OK for me. It seems like you making a legend for your compaign, a good background for your story. Only one wish/suggestion: please, do not include ALL details into one briefing, it's better to include one or two details before each mission to provide some lyric background.

The best part about being a writer is that you enjoy putting down tons of words. Not each mission breifing will be as descriptive, but it will be informative. The base for this campaign is that the player will understand the hardships that were undertaken by the women of the 46th GvNBAP during the war, and how they dealt with them. They will also, in turn, learn about the history of the regiment, and partake in a lot of it. This way they will have even greater respect for the women that did it in real life.

I'm feeling better now, so I'll get to work on editing the story now, and post it in a few hours. Thanks for all the constructive criticism. I'll try to lessen the amount of historical details per mission, but sometimes I feel they're necessary in order to give the reader a sense that they are there. Watch for my post in a few hours, it will contain the updated sample briefing!

Okay, here's the edited sample briefing. It is not much better than the last one, and still does not effectively deal with all of the topics I wanted to cover, but I felt, like DeCore said, that it would be putting too much detail into one briefing. I'll write a second sample briefing to use those ideas which I hadn't here, and include some new ones. But for now, here's the edited version with as many changes as I could see fit to put in it. Please, give me your comments!

_______________________________

Briefing: May the 24th, 1942- Small farm, 27 kilometers north of Novorossijsk..

I opened the flap to the briefing tent. Many of the girls are already there, sitting on the ground for lack of food crates to use as chairs. Major Bershanskaya was there at the head of the tent, as usual. She was a good leader, if not sometimes very strict. The large tent was dusty, but overall very clean. It had a feeling of comfort that came with the multitude of people that gathered there every night. I ran my fingers through my hair, it felt thick and greasy. We all had not bathed in several days. Major Bershanskaya cleared her throat. Many of our girls, who had been gossiping and giggling wildly, immediately fell silent.
"Good, good my darlings, you are all here.” the Major said. I looked around at the women. I noted many of my friends had new uniforms. I was still in my bulky male uniform. I was never good at stitching. Several of the girls also shared my lack of talent, but that didn’t stop them from making their clothes fit. I turned behind me and saw an empty spot on the floor. My stomach growled, not because I was hungry, but with the sadness that I remembered from the night before. It always did that, I have never known why. The girls near me shifted slightly farther away after that. I looked over at Irina. She seemed not to be faring too well after her ordeal the night before.
While the Major was calling the pairs of pilot and navigator for the night, images flashed through my mind. A Po-2 fluttered in the distance, slowly drawing in. I had already completed my flight, and my navigator that night, Alexandra Akimova, who I do not normally fly with, was reporting the mission status. As the slow biplane floated into the light, I heard the engine sputtering, coughing. With a last, trying attempt, the engine brought the propeller around one last time, before it died and the plane fell three meters onto the soft ground. I saw Irina white with shock, and the body she held back to keep it from falling on the flight stick. Irina’s face was covered in the pilot’s blood. I looked at the face of the dead pilot, and immediately turned away. It was Dusya Nosal, with a bullet straight through her temple. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth hung open in shock...
I was brought back to the present, and doubled over to prevent anyone from seeing my crying. I had grown up as a neighbor to Dusya. We were very close, we lived in the same apartment building when we were growing up in Leningrad. We used to run with the boys in the streets, teasing and taunting them. She was the one who persuaded me to join the squadron with her, and now she was dead.
I looked again over at Irina, who too was crying. Major Bershanskaya was talking to the regiment. She had not noticed that Irina and I were crying, or at least made no sign that she did. Now my face glistened with tears in the pale light of the tent, but I had to listen to tonight's briefing.
"We have a chance to avenge our fallen ones tonight.” She stated happily, “There is a small army encampment near Novorossijsk which will be filled with German soldiers. There will be many officers there with their underlings. They will not expect an attack after the show they put up last night, da? Most of their troops will have already gone to sleep. Remember to keep your altitude at six-hundred meters. We don't want any mistakes like last night, do we Sasha?"
The major looked at one of our newer pilots, and my head turned too. Sasha looked down at the ground. She had flown in at three hundred meters and dropped her bombs. Her plane was almost completely engulfed in the flames, but miraculously, she and her navigator Tanya made it through alright. They were caught by groundfire afterward, however, and managed to put the plane down just after passing our front lines.
"Now, girls, the weather is not as clear as it was last night. It will be a bit hazy down by the port tonight, so don't go below our bombing altitude. Also, the clouds are low tonight, so be careful. I recieved word from fighter command today that the skies should be clear of enemy activity tonight. Our Yak fighters have done their job today. Never the less, be careful, ladies. On your maps, the army camp will be in sector H13, alright? During the last recon flight over the area, it seems that the Germans have lit large fires. We think they are burning files that they have captured. But let them burn, da? For then we shall have light to see them by... Oh! And before I forget to tell you, stay out of map sectors K13, K12, H12, and I14 tonight. Our AAA units are on full alert and will fire at anything they see."
Everyone in the room weakly smiled. While we all were ready for our combat duty, every night was a chance we could die. We would take it to heart. The briefing was dismissed, and I went up to the table at the front of the tent to see who my navigator was for the night, because I had been daydreaming during that part of the briefing. I ran my finger down the list to find my name, and looked to the right. It was there in Major Bershanskaya's handwriting. I was flying with Irina tonight. I walked over to her. She was still crying. It was more from shock now than any other reason. I had no way to express my sorrow for Irina. So, as best I could with my bulky mens flight suit on, I hugged her. We cried on each other's shoulders', and waited for our opportunity to take our revenge that night...The Major strolled up behind us. She pried the two of us apart. Irina’s uniform, which she had altered to fit her like most women’s clothing, was still covered in Dusya’s blood from last night. There had been no time to wash anything today. "Irina," Major Bershanskaya walked over to her and knelt down next to her. "You were very brave last night." She walked out of the tent and let us be. We stayed close, my eyes had stopped tearing and Irina laid her head on my shoulder. The hat she had made from the excess fabric of her old uniform fell from her head onto the floor.
“We will have our revenge yet…” Irina said. She grabbed her hat, and we walked out of the tent, heading toward our plane.

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от PBNA-Boosher

Thanks! Okay guys. I've compiled a list of what I'm going to change in the sample briefing. Tell me if it will work or not, and whether you think you'd like this new version better:

What I'll be changing:

-As with most of the "airfields" that the Po-2's of the night witches took off from, they were farmsteads, and large pieces of flat land more often than airfields. (Their training did take place at Engels airfield, though) Therefore, the setting is a farm on a road, which will be used for takeoff like a normal runway. I will set up objects, and it will look good. I promise. The farm, thanks to being on the front lines, will be in disrepair.

---

The problem is how to force AI to land back on such field? In present AEP engine it is not possible - they can land only to the "official" fields.

I did some experiments in this area - and the answer is clear: AI sometimes can take off from the "not official" field (provided it is flat enough) but CAN NOT land on it.
So the only solution is to put such "not official" field close to the "official" one - then AI will land close to take off point.

I'll try to experiment with some things. I know that with some of the "recon" targets there is a thing that you can check which makes it possible for the Recon planes to land on the ground. I'll ask Oleg, I guess. Maybe he knows a way around this. Thanks for pointing that out though Vadson!

____________

Also, I have the 2nd sample briefing written up. I don't know if it's strong or not, all I want to know is if I got some of the cultural element in there. I need you guys to tell me what I am missing. The basis of this mission is that you're flying from one small farm to another small farm and that will be your new base, as the Front lines have moved and your squadron is being transferred to a new location. Anyway, here's the sample brief:

Sample Briefing #2: June 3rd. Small Farm- 27 kilometers North of Novorossijsk:

This is the last day we will spend at this farm. Tonight we fly to a new location closer to the front lines. I will never forget this location, though. The airdrome is on the remains of an old farm. We were lucky to have a smooth dirt road to use as a runway, but still, this is one of the better places we have stayed at in quite a few months. There are few animals or crops, and the farmhouse itself is falling apart from years without repair. However, the place has its charm. There is an old riding paddock not too far from the road, and we are far enough behind our lines that one can walk for many kilometers when they have time off.
Another great thing about the farm is the family that inhabits it. They are a small elderly couple. They have much in the ways of help. The husband, who’s name is D’mitri, has been an excellent hand around the airdrome. While he may be in his late seventies, he still can easily handle an axe and chop for a whole day! One night, when Major Bershanskaya approved, we had a giant bonfire and danced. The wife is a great woman. She is also Tamara, like me, and is in her late seventies as well. but she is a great cook! She is always around to talk to, and seems to have a smile on her face most of the day, even with all the tragedy that has happened to her over the years. She lost her brothers during the civil war, and her parents during the Great War in 1917. We affectionately call the elderly couple our “parents” and to them, we are their “daughters.” Last night, at suppertime before our mission, they took us into their old farmhouse and fed us dinner. It was like a party. I had no idea “mother” had so much strength, to cook for two hundred of her hungry “daughters.”
They also have a sadder side to their story. They share their farmhouse with their grandchild. Their son was married to a beautiful woman, they tell us. They lived in Leningrad, where I was from. Their son had gone off to the war, and within three days of his going to the front, he was slaughtered along with his whole division by German tanks. They were very brave. His young boy was sent out here in the Kuban region after his mother died during the German bombings of Leningrad. Now he lives with his grandparents. I have taken a particular liking to the boy, Vasily. He is barely eleven years old, but he runs around the farm with his arms outstretched, as if he was trying to fly, like us. He has come to know us women well. During the mornings, most of us do not get the sleep that is allowed for us, so we sit and tell him stories. He listens well. A few weeks back, Raisa’s mother sent her up a plush toy bear. Raisa had no way she could possibly use it, so she kept it insider her plane when she flew. When we came to the farm, Raisa gave the bear to Vasily. He carries it around all day now. He named the bear Nadia, because that was his mother’s name. Looking around at this farm, this aerodrome, it brings strength to my heart. People I never would have normally known now look at me as their own daughter, sister, or even mother. Such a strong bond cannot be broken by the torrents of war, and we will not let the Germans try to stop it. This strong belief in our people keeps us going into battle. It gives us even more reason to fight…

2 PBNA-Boosher
First briefing looks good. I can perform only semantyc check, ofcourse.
Several notes:
1. Alexandra Akimova and Sasha are two different people? (Sasha is a short form of Alexandra)
2. FYI, "Irina" is a full form. Common short form is "Ira" (also there are heap of various short forms, but I'd not recommend to use them in a foreign language, correct usage of them is quite delicate and depends on a context of usage, but if you need I can tell you all). But it's OK to use both these forms in any context.
3. If the character "was never good at stitching", it should not prevent her to try, it only takes more time. I hope later she'll find the time. Or ask somebody for. The somebody most likely will take a chocolate for it. :)

Yes, Alexandra Akimova and Sasha were two different people. Alexandra Akimova is one of the people of the 46th GvNBAP that is fortunately still with us today. Sasha, however, was a name I drew out of a hat for a random character.

Irina was also a real person. Her name was Irina Kashirina, and she had flown with Dusya Nosal on that fateful flight, and flew the plane back home holding Dusya's body back so it did not collapse against the control stick.

When I do use a historical person's name, however, I will use the name that they were known by. So for example, if I was making a reference to Lidiia Litvyak, or Katerina Budanova, I would be talking about Lilya and Katya, etc...

Oh, and don't worry. Remember that this is only one briefing of many. It will have many sad, but also many happy moments for you to live through. It shall be a very rewarding campaign. I actually plan on the main player (Tamara Borisova is the player's name) learning to sew with the help of some of her friends from the squadron. Don't worry. It will not be the only thing she learns throughout the campaign, and nor will it be the only thing you learn as well.

In the campaign I am trying to include as many historical names and situations as possible in order to keep to the history and keep the player learning, as well as having fun. I'm glad you liked the first briefing! How's the second one?

2 PBNA-Boosher
BTW, trying translate your first briefing into Russian I found out that sturman of Dusya Nosal (Дуся Носаль) in that flight was Glasha Kashirina (Глаша Каширина). If Irina is Irina Sebrova, she was a pilot, not a sturman.

The last name is the same, so I expect it's the same person. Maybe they called her Irina. All I know is that in the book, "A Dance with Death," She's referred to as Irina Kashirina. I think I'll keep her name the same though, since Irina is what they called her. It's just like you guys call me Boosher. My real name might be Mike, but you call me Boosher because that's how you know me. She may have introduced herself as Irina, so that's how the girls knew her.

:) I really doubt. Here (http://www.russiantext.com/russian_l...vtsova/01.html) I have memoires of a sturman Kravtsova from this squadron. Glasha Kashirina is one of the main characters here.

I dunno....

Here are my sources in "A Dance with Death," which are interviews with the real pilots condensed into a book. Every place she is mentioned by the female pilots, navigators, mechanics, etcl... They mention her as Irina.

Page 33: "But the aircraft behind me, piloted by Dusya Nosal, was caught by the enemy fire. She was killed in her cockpit. Her navigator, Irina Kashirina, in the back cockpit knew how to fly and took over the controls..."

Page 34: "One was Irina Kashirina, who had landed the aircraft with the dead pilot."

Page 75: "They said, 'No, Dusya Nosal was hit in the temple with a bullet, and the navigator landed the plane with her dead in the cockpit.' Soon after, her navigator, Irina Kashirina, also perished in battle."

OK, it seems on you're right. I searched through and in several memoires found Ira Kashirina and only in one- Glasha. I'll try to search further...

K, double check to make sure, but thanks for clearing that up!

I think her full name was Glafira (short-Glasha), but mostly she was called "Ira" (not "Irina"). But, possibly, Natalia Kravtsova in her memories call her Glasha to distinguish from Irina Sebrova (Kravtsova's pilot), since both of them was often refered by name only in her memoires.
But, if so, it's not correct to call Kashirina with "Irina"- it is different name. I found "Irina Kashirina" (not "Ira Kashirina") only in momoires of a "third party" persons. In memoires of people from the same squadron- only "Ira" (in Aronova's and in Ahmetova's momoires) or "Glasha" (in Kravtsova's memoires).

Well, I think it'll be okay if I leave it. I'll find a way to get a Glasha in there soon. Besides, Irina/Glasha is not going to be a major part of the campaign. She's only going to be mentioned in a few briefings, and then it will move onto other details...

Concerning speechpack. I want to make its more alive, and emotional, to add exclamations " Oh! ", " Ah! ", " Mumy! ", and some simple shouts. May be some curses? They was on memoirs. Only without f-words, certainly. It would be desirable to know, what the public thinks in this occasion?
By a weekend I shall make in Excel the table with initial phrases and new, I shall lay out for the review here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
По поводу озвучки. Хочу сделать ее более живой, и эмоцинальной, добавить восклицаний "Ой!", "Ай!", "Мама!", и просто криков. Может ругательств? Все-таки, было такое по воспоминаниям. Только без матов, конечно.
Хотелось бы узнать, что думает по этому поводу общественность? К концу недели сделаю в Екселе табличку с исходными фразами и новыми, выложу для обзора сюда.

LLexus, that's fine. I'm sure you've heard in the US speechpack,"Sh!t, Sh!t, I'm going down!" or "Oh Sh!t, I'm hit" and definitely the German speechpack, "Shaessa!" (means Sh!t) Sorry for my foul language. But yeah, definitely spice it up without using the f-word. Oleg certainly doesn't seem to mind. Just make sure that when you do the recording you listen to the male Russian speechpack, copy down the words in each filename, write the filename down, and then record it for the female speechpack. There can't be any random phrases because they won't be used. You need to stick with the proper number of actors and phrases. But add things in where you can to make it more interesting.

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от PBNA-Boosher

Just make sure that when you do the recording you listen to the male Russian speechpack, copy down the words in each filename, write the filename down, and then record it for the female speechpack. There can't be any random phrases because they won't be used. You need to stick with the proper number of actors and phrases. But add things in where you can to make it more interesting.

---

Yep! I know the technology.

http://www.flugzeugwerk.net/acoop.htm
BTW, here link to some missions with screen-shot of targets, I think it would be cool to make a .doc with briefing text for every single mission with such shots as investigation reports. ;)

2 LordLexus:

все эти охи и ахи действительно стоит сначала на бумаге нарисовать - в смысле, представить, как оно будет звучать, когда будут складываться файлы. Я столкнулся с этим, когда делал спичпак... и главное, сколько охов не делай - всё равно будет звучать шаблонно. Рэндомайза нет...
Также у меня были наработки по фильтру, имитирующему сигнал, доходящий до наушников пилота. Если нужно - могу посмотреть, остались ли.
З.Ы. А чьи голоса планируешь? Не радийных ли ведущих/диджеев случаем? :)

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от Maximus_G

2 LordLexus:

все эти охи и ахи действительно стоит сначала на бумаге нарисовать - в смысле, представить, как оно будет звучать, когда будут складываться файлы. Я столкнулся с этим, когда делал спичпак... и главное, сколько охов не делай - всё равно будет звучать шаблонно. Рэндомайза нет...

---

Пнятно, но все-равно хочется чтоб был более живой саунд, не такой протокольный :cool:

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от Maximus_G

Также у меня были наработки по фильтру, имитирующему сигнал, доходящий до наушников пилота. Если нужно - могу посмотреть, остались ли.

---

Давай, если найдешь, шли инфу на lordlexus@mail.ru

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от Maximus_G

З.Ы. А чьи голоса планируешь? Не радийных ли ведущих/диджеев случаем? :)

---

Планирую первым голосом свою подругу, и второй голос, у нас на работе есть одна девчина, с таким суперовым голосом, похож на голос Якуш, но более мелодичный, когда она говорит, я просто не так дышать начинаю
%)
Писать буду на частной студии, там оборудование с "Европы Плюс" досталось, когда ее Толстошеин перекупил...

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от LordLexus

Yep! I know the technology.

http://www.flugzeugwerk.net/acoop.htm
BTW, here link to some missions with screen-shot of targets, I think it would be cool to make a .doc with briefing text for every single mission with such shots as investigation reports. ;)

---

It's too bad you can't include pictures in briefings in IL2, still, I'll try to do what I can. Maybe I'll compile all of the briefings I write into a small .pdf file for you guys to read.

%) bump %)

Цитата:

---

Сообщение от PBNA-Boosher

%) bump %)

---

Don't expect to see a lot of activity on our forum on weekends - many of us prefer to use Internet from work - at employer' expense ;)

Well no, I didn't expect it. It's just that the thread fell onto the second page...